Ok Mother Nature, you can stop being a bitch now. I’m not a fan of this game we are playing. Grrrrr….
I thought I could be post-menopausal, after all I am in my mid 50’s. It had been almost exactly a year since my last period. My periods were always VERY heavy for a day or two. They came with migraines and horrible cramps. So, you can imagine how happy I was not to have one for nearly a year.
Well, Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has decided that I need at least one more. Last Friday (2 days ago) I had what I thought was spotting like I’ve had before. It’s not unusual to have that as the body is winding down it’s hormones. Nope, it was clear by the next day that it was just like my regular periods of old. This most certainly was part of the reason I felt like poop this week.
I remembered a conversation I’d had with a past co-worker who said she had something similar happen. She said she thought of it as the last gasp of menstruation. After that she never had another period. I sure hope that is what happens because I was really enjoying the freedom of not having it.
Things like, not having to carry tampons and/or pads in my purse. Not having to think about what I was wearing in terms of color. No matter how much protection I was wearing I had to wear black or dark pants, back when on my heavy flow days.
I was very much enjoying the surge in my libido. Handsome hubby was as well, although I’m pretty sure he was wishing he had the same sex drive he did when he was in his 20’s. According to what I’ve read not all women experience an increase in their sex drive after menopause. Some sadly, lose complete interest. How much of that is in the mind or is actually truly physical is the question. It may depend on what any specific person thinks is supposed to happen during and after ‘the change’. Or not…I’m not a medical doctor so much of this is just my personal opinion based on speaking with many people about their experiences.
For me all of this is complicated by my auto-immune disorder and other medical issues such as early onset osteoarthritis. It all started in my late 20’s. There is a possibility that I may even have Rheumatoid Arthritis. One of my medical issues is thyroid related which can have an affect on my menstruation. Another is systemic which means it can affect any system in my body or multiple systems.
One thing I have learned over the years of dealing with chronic illness is not to focus on it. It could be worse. It could be better. It is what it is. Something there is no cure for. It will never go away. I chose to have the best day I possibly can, while feeling however it is that I feel, on any particular day. Some days I feel pretty darn close to the old, pre-chronic illness me. Other days not. Most days are somewhere in between.
Through it all though there has been a bright light…handsome hubby. We are great together even when things aren’t great. I’m not sure what I’d do without him. I hope I never have to find out.
Now, if this period would just go away…
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